Nacho cheese...nacho body?

“I love you, but you’re going to die.”

Those were the loving words my fiancé dropped on me before we married. I was a Wall Street trader during the financial crisis, so my days were filled with stress, my nights were filled with boozy client dinners, and my diet consisted mainly of nachos, burgers, and bourbon. I regularly came home drunk at 2 AM and was back on the trading floor by 6:30. At 27, my doctor was already worried about my cholesterol and resting heart rate. He would send me literature about Type 2 Diabetes. I would toss it in the trash beside my empty bottles and takeout containers.

I looked like this:

But I didn’t want to die. I was engaged to the girl of my dreams. I wanted to look better with a shirt on, much less off.

So I started working out, using workout and calorie trackers, poring over Reddit/r/fitness threads, and learning to love lifting heavy things and putting them back down. Two years later, I participated in my first obstacle race (and probably my first ever 3k run).

When we moved to Florida, my garage dream was of building a home gym and working out in the sunlight. COVID made it hard to find used gym equipment, and I refused to follow YouTube workouts or do bodyweight work. The COVID ”19 pounds” snowballed with the stress of a cross-country move, a new job, and a new baby. And I was still drinking. Then we learned about her genetic disorder.

Not yo’ body…so get after it

But I then realized what my now-wife had already thought about all those years ago: we’re playing the long game. Because of Lexi’s condition (almost complete lack of muscular control), it was imperative that I be in the best physical condition I could be so that I could transport her, allow her to experience play, and keep her safe. So I learned to love bodyweight work, found some dumbbells on FB Marketplace, and bought this, this, this, and this.

We all know the general guidelines: drink water, lift heavy weights, do cardio, and prioritize sleep and recovery. But we also know that dads are human leftover garbage disposals, and things like work and life can get in the way. Adding the additional stress and schedule disruption of caring for our special needs children makes it even harder. To top it all off, lack of sleep can trigger stress responses that lead to craving more caloric, sugary, and salty foods. I’ll cover sleep hygiene later, but first, let’s focus on your fitness, which is so critical to your family’s success.

Over the next few months, I’ll share what’s worked for me, what I’m doing now, and what I hope to accomplish before I turn 50. But for now, I want to light a fire under your proverbial ass. To be blunt, this is not an optional ‘find time’ issue - you make time for what you prioritize. And being physically fit must be a nonnegotiable priority in your life.

Getting fit and cleaning up your diet will:

• Optimize your energy levels - you are the heartbeat of your family, and steady energy is critical for surviving long days and nights with a positive mindset

• Provide a good example for your children - your job is to keep them healthy: physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially (takeout and unnecessary medications due to lifestyle cost money!)

• Enable you to provide physical safety and transport for your kids - hopefully self-explanatory

• Keep you healthy for the long haul - and this is absolutely a marathon, not a sprint

A dad on X shared his story of coming back from the darkness because he realized his girl would likely need him physically for the rest of her life. It’s an inspirational story, and he’s a great follow if you’re on X, too.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (ESV)

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

I’d love to hear how you prioritize your fitness and what adaptations you’ve made to make it work with your work and family schedule. Please let me know.

Strength IS honor,
Duke

P.S. Banner motivation courtesy David Goggins’ “who’s gonna carry the boats?” workout mantra. If you don’t know, now you know.